It’s 11:56pm on a Tuesday night and I’m currently sitting at the Gawler emergency hospital with my physically broken fiance because the appropriate organisations won’t fucken recognise his injuries and physical pain. I am 32 weeks pregnant and my physio told me to rest after my appointment yesterday. This hasn’t been the easiest pregnancy but now I’ve had to ignore my own physical pain from pregnancy to assist my fiance by driving and assisting him in ways he is not physically able too.

All he did was go food shopping for us and just dropped to the ground. He didn’t trip, he has done nothing out of the ordinary, no one knocked him… nothing. He just dropped. A month before this, it happened to the other ankle. I am so sick and tired of seeing my fiance struggle with the normal everyday things because he is in pain from head to toe. I mean not too long ago he had a full body MRI. The staff said it was unheard of and they had to do the scans over 3 days in a row because it was so many areas.

Now as I sit here with 8 weeks till our first baby arrives, I wonder… I wonder if it’s safe for my fiance to carry our child without dropping to the ground unexpectedly because he has had no control of previous falls. I wonder if he’ll be able to assist me with after care after the delivery of our baby depending on what type of birth I have. I wonder if he’ll be able to play with our child without his injuries preventing him.

It really is so hard to see a young 30 year old man struggle, not just physically but struggle to be recognised after reaching out to multiple organisations and going through the correct processes and procedures just like every other veteran does. What does one need to do to get the care they need after serving their country and putting their lifeon the line, but their freedom, family commitments and much more.

I also worry, even though it doesn’t effect me but I still worry, about the current serving members that have injuries and ongoing physical pain and still have to do their job exactly the same way because they are either belittled or basterdised for reporting their injuries or they have a shit rank that still makes them work just so they can get their own next promotion.

Seriously, what is the ADF coming too?? I will never ever let my child join the defence.. EVER!

And with all that being said.. I just sit here wondering what the future will be like with all these veterans suffering in silence or is it they’ve spoken up but not received help or been recognised. Does the ADF realise what they are doing to veterans on a mental and physical level?

So the above is from my partners point of view but I just wanted to add in a few points myself.

I had a fall on Tuesday and I don’t know why, I just heard a lound snap and down I went in a carpark on flat ground. I’ve done ligaments in my ankles before both a minor tear and also complete tears, this was different and this one hurt more than I’d like to admit. Now I am normally fine with pain and your typical stubborn male and was just going to let it be until I seen my Doctor on the Thursday for another reason, however when I got home and finally stopped moving the swelling got biggger and I was losing feeling in my foot and getting pins and needles, so having family in the medical world I was advised to get it looked at just incase.

I am still sorting it out but this has definitely bothered me this week, more so mentally.

My little one is going to be here soon and something that has been messing with me more than the pain is what would have happened if I went down and I had my little one in my arms… this honestly scares the shit out of me as I had no control over the fall and just went down.

The injuries I carry are from my time in the Army and the process to try and get them sorted has been a difficult one. (This is a story for another time)

I thought it would be worth sharing my partners story so people can see how when we are broken it effects everyone around us.

To those in the senior positions please try and take note so when your Soldiers come to you with an injury support them in getting it sorted and don’t just pay it off.

My advice to the lad’s if you are injured at work or on deployments etc, get it sorted when it happens. Don’t wait until you discharge and have been out for some time to try and get it fixed like myself.

My partner is heavily pregnant and on rest so the last thing I wanted her todo is take care of my broken self, I think this is what has fucked me up the most, I am meant to be the strong one and take care of her and having no control over what happened really scares me as this isn’t the first time something like this has happened.

Please think about your future selves when you get injured, don’t let the rank tell you to toughen up or walk it off because in all honesty it will fuck you up in the long run.
Yes there are those in worse positions than myself and I get that but this is my story and even if it helps just one person I am happy.

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